The Question of Happiness --
Speech # 3
Have you been to a subway station in the early morning rush hour? Have you noticed how it looks like? How people seems to be in a hurry and are walking fast/running (I show running motion) and in a race. By the raise of the hand, who watch the discovery channel? Picture herds of buffaloes. It is like that; it looks like a bunch of buffaloes running in every direction.
This my friends are the visual presentation of the RAT-RACE.
We all have the dream to be happy.
Some achieve it by success, others by wealth and some by fame.
Many of us work diligently to achieve it.
Although working hard is good. It is working too hard with no play which causes the problem.
The question is should we be happy now and enjoy the moment or should we pursue happiness in the future by sacrificing the present?
After this speech, you will learn that you are responsible for you own future but you also ought to enjoy the present.
This speech will be divided accordingly. First I will describe the four archetypes of happiness:
· The Rat Racer who eye for the prize
· The Hedonist who seeks pleasure and avoids pain
· The Nihilist who feels helpless
and then I will conclude with the optimal solution.
Mr Tal Ben-Shahar in his book: "Happier" actually describes these four archetypes.
Rat-Racer: Rat racers are those who eye the price, not the journey. By focusing on the destination, rat racers fail to embrace the joy that comes from the journey itself. They believe that only when they have accomplished the goal that they can be happy. In school, rat racers focus on the final grade, not the enjoyment that can come from gaining knowledge. For example, Loyd is a rat racer. In college, he studies hard and volunteers in different activities not because it excites him but because it looks good in the transcript. There is anxiety. When the final year came, he gets a job offer. He thinks he will finally enjoy life soon he realized that he doesn’t enjoy the eighty hour work week. At work, rat racers focus on the promotion, not the joys that might be part of the daily activities of their job. They were told and firmly believe that as soon as they accomplish the next goal (e.g. being a partner in a firm, then they will be able to achieve happiness. But that day might never come or even if it comes, they might be sitting in a corner wondering where did time go? Those moments of goal accomplishments are few and far in between in comparison to the time and energy that goes in accomplishing them. The issue for rat racers is that they fail to enjoy what they are currently doing and believe that it's only once they have accomplished their goal that they can be happy. This is how some top students in school can become partners at prestigious law firms, have wonderful families and live in big houses and achieve every criterion of rat racers success but still not be happy. They are slaves for the future.
Hedonists are people who tend to focus on the present and ignore the future negative consequences of their actions. Examples are people who take drugs and become drug addicts or eat hamburgers every day despite the fact that they want to lose weight. In relationships, these are the people who will jump from one relationship to another for the thrill and excitement. They equate pleasant experience with happiness and any kind of effort is seen as pain that is to be avoided. There is a movie called Twilight zone, it is a story of a criminal who finds himself in heaven. He gets bored and pleasure diminishes. He asks the angel for work that will challenge him. The angel disapproved. He gets frustrated. Finally, he got desperate and ask that he would like to go to hell. The angel face becomes devious & threatening and said you are in hell. Without long term purpose, and avoiding challenges, life ceases to be meaningful. By avoiding discomfort they miss out on doing things that in the long run would have made them happy. They are slaves in the present.
There is also a small group called Nihilists. Nihilists are the people who think life has no meaning. They are trapped in the past. They feel helpless that they have no control. They are slaves in the past.
Are you a rat racer, a hedonist or a nihilist?
In each of us is a combination of all.
The question is should I be happy now or should I sacrifice the present for a happier future?
According to Ben-Shahar, while present & future benefits may sometimes conflict, it is possible to enjoy both for much of the time. The optimal solution is to find ways to be happy now and in the future.
Students who love learning; get both present and future benefits. People who work at something they love can still progress in their careers. People in romantic relationships can help each other become better persons. Couples who enjoy their time together can help each other to grow and develop. The key is to keep in mind to spend as much time as possible being engaged in activities that provide both present and future benefits -- like joining Toastmasters.
To conclude, rat racers are slaves for the future. Hedonists are slaves in the moment and Nihilists are slaves to the past.
I just want to say that Life is a journey. Hence do not just focus on the destination, enjoy the trip as well. And for my friends who are hedonists who only enjoy the trips w/ no clear destination in mind, figure out your destination. And remember:
"Happiness is not about just reaching the top of the mountain; nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."
Have you been to a subway station in the early morning rush hour? Have you noticed how it looks like? How people seems to be in a hurry and are walking fast/running (I show running motion) and in a race. By the raise of the hand, who watch the discovery channel? Picture herds of buffaloes. It is like that; it looks like a bunch of buffaloes running in every direction.
This my friends are the visual presentation of the RAT-RACE.
We all have the dream to be happy.
Some achieve it by success, others by wealth and some by fame.
Many of us work diligently to achieve it.
Although working hard is good. It is working too hard with no play which causes the problem.
The question is should we be happy now and enjoy the moment or should we pursue happiness in the future by sacrificing the present?
After this speech, you will learn that you are responsible for you own future but you also ought to enjoy the present.
This speech will be divided accordingly. First I will describe the four archetypes of happiness:
· The Rat Racer who eye for the prize
· The Hedonist who seeks pleasure and avoids pain
· The Nihilist who feels helpless
and then I will conclude with the optimal solution.
Mr Tal Ben-Shahar in his book: "Happier" actually describes these four archetypes.
Rat-Racer: Rat racers are those who eye the price, not the journey. By focusing on the destination, rat racers fail to embrace the joy that comes from the journey itself. They believe that only when they have accomplished the goal that they can be happy. In school, rat racers focus on the final grade, not the enjoyment that can come from gaining knowledge. For example, Loyd is a rat racer. In college, he studies hard and volunteers in different activities not because it excites him but because it looks good in the transcript. There is anxiety. When the final year came, he gets a job offer. He thinks he will finally enjoy life soon he realized that he doesn’t enjoy the eighty hour work week. At work, rat racers focus on the promotion, not the joys that might be part of the daily activities of their job. They were told and firmly believe that as soon as they accomplish the next goal (e.g. being a partner in a firm, then they will be able to achieve happiness. But that day might never come or even if it comes, they might be sitting in a corner wondering where did time go? Those moments of goal accomplishments are few and far in between in comparison to the time and energy that goes in accomplishing them. The issue for rat racers is that they fail to enjoy what they are currently doing and believe that it's only once they have accomplished their goal that they can be happy. This is how some top students in school can become partners at prestigious law firms, have wonderful families and live in big houses and achieve every criterion of rat racers success but still not be happy. They are slaves for the future.
Hedonists are people who tend to focus on the present and ignore the future negative consequences of their actions. Examples are people who take drugs and become drug addicts or eat hamburgers every day despite the fact that they want to lose weight. In relationships, these are the people who will jump from one relationship to another for the thrill and excitement. They equate pleasant experience with happiness and any kind of effort is seen as pain that is to be avoided. There is a movie called Twilight zone, it is a story of a criminal who finds himself in heaven. He gets bored and pleasure diminishes. He asks the angel for work that will challenge him. The angel disapproved. He gets frustrated. Finally, he got desperate and ask that he would like to go to hell. The angel face becomes devious & threatening and said you are in hell. Without long term purpose, and avoiding challenges, life ceases to be meaningful. By avoiding discomfort they miss out on doing things that in the long run would have made them happy. They are slaves in the present.
There is also a small group called Nihilists. Nihilists are the people who think life has no meaning. They are trapped in the past. They feel helpless that they have no control. They are slaves in the past.
Are you a rat racer, a hedonist or a nihilist?
In each of us is a combination of all.
The question is should I be happy now or should I sacrifice the present for a happier future?
According to Ben-Shahar, while present & future benefits may sometimes conflict, it is possible to enjoy both for much of the time. The optimal solution is to find ways to be happy now and in the future.
Students who love learning; get both present and future benefits. People who work at something they love can still progress in their careers. People in romantic relationships can help each other become better persons. Couples who enjoy their time together can help each other to grow and develop. The key is to keep in mind to spend as much time as possible being engaged in activities that provide both present and future benefits -- like joining Toastmasters.
To conclude, rat racers are slaves for the future. Hedonists are slaves in the moment and Nihilists are slaves to the past.
I just want to say that Life is a journey. Hence do not just focus on the destination, enjoy the trip as well. And for my friends who are hedonists who only enjoy the trips w/ no clear destination in mind, figure out your destination. And remember:
"Happiness is not about just reaching the top of the mountain; nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak."